In times of not know what to say to God, not sure of where to let my heart spill out to Him, or not really sure of how I feel at a particular moment, the Doxology comes to mind, and I start to sing it.
"Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav'nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."
It's so simple, so perfect, and uplifting for my spirit and brings praise to God in all circumstances. After I've sung it a few times it seems that I in turn start singing my prayer in the tune of this song. This is the next song I shall learn for guitar.
Have a sincerely blessed day, and rest of the week!
-Jason
I particularly like this version of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVqkee2mtZM
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Dreaming of my own classroom
Last night I was trying to be still and listen to God after laying my heart on the table. I felt like I had more to give to Him, but after a while, sooner than I thought, I was just quiet. How can I truly be quiet, and listen to what God has to say to me? Just to push out ever thought, and let God fill my thoughts. Dare I say audibly hear Him speak, how glorious that would be. So as I'm looking for direction in my life, trying to figure out what specifically I'm to do, I eventually went to bed, falling fast asleep trying to listen, as a few thoughts of what it meant to be a spiritual leader for a family entered my mind.
I awoke this morning a little after 8 to venture to my bathroom. I realized I was thinking about the dream I had just awoke from, a dream about having my own high school art classroom. I was taking over someones class who had left in a hurry, or so it felt like or how I understood it to be. It was like I just showed up and it was mine. I did not have any syllabi for my students, which I felt slightly unprepared by, and that I perhaps let them down. I collected my thoughts, and realized that I needed to set classroom rules, not for them but with them.
I go to the marker board, which someone had left completely messy, with smudges all over it. I looked down at the markers, and most of the ones I found had dry erase lids on regular crayola markers. I even marked on the board with one before I realized it, and was afraid it wouldn't erase, but it did. Finally I found a clean, white area to start writing rules, and with the correct marker. There were only a few students in this first class of mine. One of which I remember from when I was student teaching. She had her cellphone out in this dream, and I gave her my "teacher" look and she smiled and put it away. I think I might have even said that I didn't want to take the phone from her.
I then started to ask my students what they thought our classroom rules should be, and to my surprise I felt like they honestly didn't know right off. I vaguely remember a student trying to explain what he thought the first one should be. I do remember summing up what he was trying to say with how we should respect each other, or something along the lines with "respect" apart of it. I remember going on to the next question after I had written respect on the board. With this rule I don't remember right off what it was, but it ended up being time for class to change as my students got up and started to leave. I told them I would have their syllabi for them tomorrow, and through this I felt warm, and happy or content inside.
I then had to find the restroom in this school. The hallway really seemed like some kind of maze more or less. I managed to find the women's restroom of which I walked in on accident, with no awkwardness or screams, just a quick apology from me as I stepped back out only then to notice the sign. I go on my way, through this twisted hallway of sorts, with different doors and corners, not really a straight hallway at all. I end up not finding the restroom, and I make it back into my classroom with more students waiting on me. (Wow, as I just typed waiting on me, it seemed to make me really stop and think of how students could be waiting on me right now to teach them, or perhaps a family..hmm)
This time it was like my classroom was divided up by some garage door in the middle. I asked one of my students who the other class sharing the room was, and they said it was how the hold teacher did it, and would take on the other classroom as well with his. Oddly enough, the other class was termed as the manure class in this dream. Why, I am unaware of yet. I remember going to the garage door that just kind of hung there, and I pushed it up, rolling, and out of the way to join these two classes together, making them one, and both fully mine. It's like I just took ownership of them. The word adopted also comes into mind now. This word, adoption, has been coming up in my life a lot lately it seems. Trying to figure that one out. I'm not opposed to it by no means at all, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to think about it and under what context.
Now that the room has been merged together, there I stand in the middle of the classroom before them in khakis and a collar shirt, and tie. I ask them where the restroom is, and I think one of them tells me. At this point I wake up and go to my own bathroom and upon walking in it hits me that I was thinking about the dream I just awoke from, and that perhaps this is where God is giving me my direction being an art teacher and doing art. I graduated with a degree to teach it, I still need to be certified so I can. I just need to save a lot harder for it. I didn't give up on teaching, but perhaps this dream is the refresher I needed to continue pursuing it with a stronger passion than before, for Him and for my future students.
On a side note, the classroom that I was just given was not decorated at all, and the ceiling was just metal rafters with the roof or next floor above them. It seemed a bit junky you could say. My thoughts or interpretation of this dream goes along the lines of this. Perhaps just like the marker board and markers, I can breathe some life into it and put it in order. Most importantly, pouring into the lives of so many students who are eager for a father figure (if that doesn't sound too crazy to say), a positive influence, and the love of God.
When I awoke thinking about this, I felt so at peace, and just happy. Though I was half asleep, it was still a great feeling. Lord, I hope this is your direction for me. I don't see anything wrong with this dream, or that would be unpleasing to you. Continue to show me your direction, and if this is how you'll speak to me, through dreams, make it so on a more regular basis and allow me to stop and listen to you with a clear mind, open and willing heart, and an unending love for you. Thanks God! Can the next dream be about finding a future wife please?
Your son,
Jason
I awoke this morning a little after 8 to venture to my bathroom. I realized I was thinking about the dream I had just awoke from, a dream about having my own high school art classroom. I was taking over someones class who had left in a hurry, or so it felt like or how I understood it to be. It was like I just showed up and it was mine. I did not have any syllabi for my students, which I felt slightly unprepared by, and that I perhaps let them down. I collected my thoughts, and realized that I needed to set classroom rules, not for them but with them.
I go to the marker board, which someone had left completely messy, with smudges all over it. I looked down at the markers, and most of the ones I found had dry erase lids on regular crayola markers. I even marked on the board with one before I realized it, and was afraid it wouldn't erase, but it did. Finally I found a clean, white area to start writing rules, and with the correct marker. There were only a few students in this first class of mine. One of which I remember from when I was student teaching. She had her cellphone out in this dream, and I gave her my "teacher" look and she smiled and put it away. I think I might have even said that I didn't want to take the phone from her.
I then started to ask my students what they thought our classroom rules should be, and to my surprise I felt like they honestly didn't know right off. I vaguely remember a student trying to explain what he thought the first one should be. I do remember summing up what he was trying to say with how we should respect each other, or something along the lines with "respect" apart of it. I remember going on to the next question after I had written respect on the board. With this rule I don't remember right off what it was, but it ended up being time for class to change as my students got up and started to leave. I told them I would have their syllabi for them tomorrow, and through this I felt warm, and happy or content inside.
I then had to find the restroom in this school. The hallway really seemed like some kind of maze more or less. I managed to find the women's restroom of which I walked in on accident, with no awkwardness or screams, just a quick apology from me as I stepped back out only then to notice the sign. I go on my way, through this twisted hallway of sorts, with different doors and corners, not really a straight hallway at all. I end up not finding the restroom, and I make it back into my classroom with more students waiting on me. (Wow, as I just typed waiting on me, it seemed to make me really stop and think of how students could be waiting on me right now to teach them, or perhaps a family..hmm)
This time it was like my classroom was divided up by some garage door in the middle. I asked one of my students who the other class sharing the room was, and they said it was how the hold teacher did it, and would take on the other classroom as well with his. Oddly enough, the other class was termed as the manure class in this dream. Why, I am unaware of yet. I remember going to the garage door that just kind of hung there, and I pushed it up, rolling, and out of the way to join these two classes together, making them one, and both fully mine. It's like I just took ownership of them. The word adopted also comes into mind now. This word, adoption, has been coming up in my life a lot lately it seems. Trying to figure that one out. I'm not opposed to it by no means at all, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to think about it and under what context.
Now that the room has been merged together, there I stand in the middle of the classroom before them in khakis and a collar shirt, and tie. I ask them where the restroom is, and I think one of them tells me. At this point I wake up and go to my own bathroom and upon walking in it hits me that I was thinking about the dream I just awoke from, and that perhaps this is where God is giving me my direction being an art teacher and doing art. I graduated with a degree to teach it, I still need to be certified so I can. I just need to save a lot harder for it. I didn't give up on teaching, but perhaps this dream is the refresher I needed to continue pursuing it with a stronger passion than before, for Him and for my future students.
On a side note, the classroom that I was just given was not decorated at all, and the ceiling was just metal rafters with the roof or next floor above them. It seemed a bit junky you could say. My thoughts or interpretation of this dream goes along the lines of this. Perhaps just like the marker board and markers, I can breathe some life into it and put it in order. Most importantly, pouring into the lives of so many students who are eager for a father figure (if that doesn't sound too crazy to say), a positive influence, and the love of God.
When I awoke thinking about this, I felt so at peace, and just happy. Though I was half asleep, it was still a great feeling. Lord, I hope this is your direction for me. I don't see anything wrong with this dream, or that would be unpleasing to you. Continue to show me your direction, and if this is how you'll speak to me, through dreams, make it so on a more regular basis and allow me to stop and listen to you with a clear mind, open and willing heart, and an unending love for you. Thanks God! Can the next dream be about finding a future wife please?
Your son,
Jason
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Jason David, growing with the Holy Spirit
Living a Holy Spirit filled life begins when you realize that the very presence of God in you. God gave you his Holy Spirit when you put your faith and trust into what His son, Jesus, did for the world. What Jesus did was giving up His life for us, that he drank the cup of wrath we all deserved, taking it upon Himself so that we could be freed from this punishment as a result of our own sin.
What stronger love is there than when one gives up their life for another?
Why did Jesus give His life up for us? Out of His unending love for us, and because there was absolutely nothing we could do to save ourselves from the end result of our sin, death. God reached out to us through Jesus, so that our fellowship with Him could be restored.
As a father cares for his children, and a shepherd cares his flock of sheep, he provides for them, up to the point of laying down his life for them. Jesus is the Good Shepherd as He says He is in John 10. God loves us so much that He gave us His Holy Spirit so that we could continually live in His power since we can't do it on our own accord.
Recently I've been learning more about this, and who the Holy Spirit is within me, and the power that I possess, that we've been commanded to use to do God's will. It's almost as if churches today barely mention the Holy Spirit that we are given when we have Christ in our lives. We need to inform our brothers and sisters in Christ the power that they posses, so that they can live an even more Christ filled life! It's not that some are uninformed, it's just that they might not fully comprehend what they have been given.
How else are we to live a Christ filled life and do His will without the His Holy Spirit?
Recently I've been learning more about this, and who the Holy Spirit is within me, and the power that I possess, that we've been commanded to use to do God's will. It's almost as if churches today barely mention the Holy Spirit that we are given when we have Christ in our lives. We need to inform our brothers and sisters in Christ the power that they posses, so that they can live an even more Christ filled life! It's not that some are uninformed, it's just that they might not fully comprehend what they have been given.
How else are we to live a Christ filled life and do His will without the His Holy Spirit?
If you are a precious son or daughter of God, YOU HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT IN YOU! God gave us the authority to do what Jesus did when He gave us the Holy Spirit. How amazing is that!?
Healing is one thing we can do, and it's been on my heart and mind a lot more lately. I remember when I first started to question why we aren't healing more when I read Acts 3:1-9 two years ago. I feel like it's because we don't realize what power we truly have inside of us. I've been having lots of great conversation with brothers and sisters about this lately.
Healing is one thing we can do, and it's been on my heart and mind a lot more lately. I remember when I first started to question why we aren't healing more when I read Acts 3:1-9 two years ago. I feel like it's because we don't realize what power we truly have inside of us. I've been having lots of great conversation with brothers and sisters about this lately.
My name, Jason, is Greek and means, healer. Perhaps that's even a prophesy of what I'm geared toward more so than other things. Regardless, I have the power to do all that Jesus did and more, and if you have the Holy Spirit, so do you.
My middle name, David, is Hebrew and means beloved. For a while I thought my first name had some what more of a cooler meaning, or at least I didn't think my middle name had some kind of power with it like Jason did, meaning healer. But since my heart for God is growing, I want to believe that my faith and love for the Lord will be comparable if not greater than the love King David had for the Lord, a man after His own heart says Acts 13:22. I've never been accused of lacking ambition, and I've been told I'm fearless when it comes to certain things. Which I will be fearless in all things. I am fearless in all things. The man that I'm learning I am in God is unbreakable, unstoppable, and utterly loved by Him! I'm not wanting to mirror David, but to mirror Christ and be like Him. I want to have such a love for the Lord, and more so as it said David did. A love for God, for His glory, not mine.
The more I'm trying to live my life for God and run after Him, the more I am feeling opposition for it. I'm on the right track, this tells me so. The other night several friends and I prayed for my cousins and their soon to be child. I wanted to let them know this, that we had prayed, and that God was going to move in this situation. It is crazy to what lies and fears entered my mind to keep me from telling my cousin any of this, that satan wanted me to not speak anything of this, for God's glory to be lost. If you only knew. Regardless it was no match for the power and love of God inside of me. It was well received! Praise God for seeing me through this, and especially my cousins!
As I was spending time with God the other day while trying to beat my body into shape walking and jogging, it came to mind of this being spiritual warfare that we are in, and how I wanted to be a weapon for His glory in this war. *Facebook drama warning* I made my status as such, and it got a few likes, and a few people decided to troll me, and one still is in ways, so it seems. Either way, God is great! No one can steal my joy for Him, the author of creation, the Giver of salvation! Forever may His Kingdom reign!
Lord, I know I have poured out random bits of what's going on with me and inside of me lately in this post, but let it impact anyone who reads it for the better and for your glory, God! Just like the previous sentence, you are the beginning and the end! The Alpha, and Omega! I thank you for your love, and those you have placed around me so that I may be poured into, and can pour into others. I ask this in your name, Jesus! Thanks Father! Amen!
As I was spending time with God the other day while trying to beat my body into shape walking and jogging, it came to mind of this being spiritual warfare that we are in, and how I wanted to be a weapon for His glory in this war. *Facebook drama warning* I made my status as such, and it got a few likes, and a few people decided to troll me, and one still is in ways, so it seems. Either way, God is great! No one can steal my joy for Him, the author of creation, the Giver of salvation! Forever may His Kingdom reign!
Lord, I know I have poured out random bits of what's going on with me and inside of me lately in this post, but let it impact anyone who reads it for the better and for your glory, God! Just like the previous sentence, you are the beginning and the end! The Alpha, and Omega! I thank you for your love, and those you have placed around me so that I may be poured into, and can pour into others. I ask this in your name, Jesus! Thanks Father! Amen!
-Jason
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
He never lets go!
Returning from my unintentional hiatus, I must say I feel renewed in my spiritual life. There for a while this past semester and summer, I was between churches, not in the word regularly, and just, complacent. I had become a bit stagnant, not moving forward in my faith. There were the ups and downs, but none the less I just didn't make time to really, grow. Part of me wanted to, another part of me would just think about how I wasn't growing and would feel bad. I'm going to go ahead and say those thoughts making me feel bad, were not from God. Sometimes we feed into lies, and become discouraged. That is not of the character of God to discourage us from following Him, or to make us feel lousy when we fail. God, is love.
Just like God sent us His son, Jesus, to save us from ourselves, He also sent me a few lifelines during this time of when my engine stalled, and I just kind of floated. Fellow believers, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my lifelines. God never let go of me. They didn't let go of me. Like the shepherd who goes after the one lost sheep, out of the 99, he doesn't let up until it is found and returned safely. Just like the woman who lights a lamp and searches high and low for find her one lost coin out of the 10, she starts a relentless pursuit until she finds it, and then calls her neighbors because she has such joy in her heart that it has been found. They didn't let go. God didn't let go! I didn't lose my faith, I just became complacent, and now a new passion has been instilled in me.
This reminds me of the Matt Redman song, "You Never Let Go" and how he speaks of how God never lets go. (I've listed the lyrics at the bottom.) As I've made new friends who happen to be fellow believers at my job, and become stronger friends with others from college, I know that God has used them to pour into me in different ways, and show me different things.
Within the past two or three weeks, I've been a part of some really great conversations about God. What a blessing it is to be able to speak freely about our faith when there are places in the world that we can't. It's so refreshing to hear what God is doing and how He is moving in the lives of others around me. I'm becoming more aware of the need around me. The hunger that people have for God, they might not even know it is a relationship with Jesus that they want, but ultimately that's what would truly fulfill them, and they want it.
Conversations of a spiritual nature have been falling into my lap, and it is amazing! The harvest is certainly ready indeed! I've become aware of how others can fall away, distracted, or have become entangled in the vines and thorns that choke out spiritual growth. It has been put upon me to not only share the Gospel like we have been commanded to, but to revive, provide aid, and pour into those who have become ensnared, who have been attacked and almost snatched away by the birds, and have hit dry, desolate times in a scorching desert. I want to help cut away the vines of thorns, strike down the birds that plague them, and open canals to which streams of living water can flow freely and abundantly to them so they can grow, ending the drought. It's like I'm not even having to find conversation about God, it's finding me, and I absolutely love it!
God, I thank you, and praise your name for all that you are doing inside of me, and all around me. Please continue to pour upon me your love, and show me what I can do for you, and allow me to not only grow closer to you, but to those around me as well!
Refreshed and renewed,
Jason
These are the lyrics:
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know you are near
I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*
CHORUS:
OH no You never let go through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go in every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me
(Verse 2)
And I can see the light that is comin' for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be *AN* end to the struggles
But until that day comes, we'll live to know You here on *THE* Earth
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*
*You keep on loving and you never let go*
And i can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
and there will be and end to the struggles
but until that day comes
*STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU*
Just like God sent us His son, Jesus, to save us from ourselves, He also sent me a few lifelines during this time of when my engine stalled, and I just kind of floated. Fellow believers, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my lifelines. God never let go of me. They didn't let go of me. Like the shepherd who goes after the one lost sheep, out of the 99, he doesn't let up until it is found and returned safely. Just like the woman who lights a lamp and searches high and low for find her one lost coin out of the 10, she starts a relentless pursuit until she finds it, and then calls her neighbors because she has such joy in her heart that it has been found. They didn't let go. God didn't let go! I didn't lose my faith, I just became complacent, and now a new passion has been instilled in me.
This reminds me of the Matt Redman song, "You Never Let Go" and how he speaks of how God never lets go. (I've listed the lyrics at the bottom.) As I've made new friends who happen to be fellow believers at my job, and become stronger friends with others from college, I know that God has used them to pour into me in different ways, and show me different things.
Within the past two or three weeks, I've been a part of some really great conversations about God. What a blessing it is to be able to speak freely about our faith when there are places in the world that we can't. It's so refreshing to hear what God is doing and how He is moving in the lives of others around me. I'm becoming more aware of the need around me. The hunger that people have for God, they might not even know it is a relationship with Jesus that they want, but ultimately that's what would truly fulfill them, and they want it.
Conversations of a spiritual nature have been falling into my lap, and it is amazing! The harvest is certainly ready indeed! I've become aware of how others can fall away, distracted, or have become entangled in the vines and thorns that choke out spiritual growth. It has been put upon me to not only share the Gospel like we have been commanded to, but to revive, provide aid, and pour into those who have become ensnared, who have been attacked and almost snatched away by the birds, and have hit dry, desolate times in a scorching desert. I want to help cut away the vines of thorns, strike down the birds that plague them, and open canals to which streams of living water can flow freely and abundantly to them so they can grow, ending the drought. It's like I'm not even having to find conversation about God, it's finding me, and I absolutely love it!
God, I thank you, and praise your name for all that you are doing inside of me, and all around me. Please continue to pour upon me your love, and show me what I can do for you, and allow me to not only grow closer to you, but to those around me as well!
Refreshed and renewed,
Jason
These are the lyrics:
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know you are near
I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*
CHORUS:
OH no You never let go through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go in every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me
(Verse 2)
And I can see the light that is comin' for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be *AN* end to the struggles
But until that day comes, we'll live to know You here on *THE* Earth
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*
*You keep on loving and you never let go*
And i can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
and there will be and end to the struggles
but until that day comes
*STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU*
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Stirring within
I'm up late, again. Today I've not been productive at all. I collected cardboard for a campaign I'm running for two friends. Aside from student teaching, the posters I've made for them is the most art I've made in a while. It was a three layer stencil the size of a poster board. I needed some kind of art outlet. I'm having withdraws from not having any studio classes for the second semester in a row. Of course with classes like that, it's more like practice art, but at least it was some form of creation to continually reconfigure the inner workings of my mind for the better.
I've realized if I can't have a room that I can fully utilize as an art studio due to renting an apartment, I sure would like to have a garage for the next place. Tools, open air/closed air, and not a care in the world of what falls on the floor initially.
So I've watched "Exit Through The Gift Shop" twice now, and it really makes me wonder about the art world and how people become big in it. One mans crap work could suddenly become the next big thing. I don't want to be that crap work guy that makes it big, I want to create legit stuff and make it big. Send a message to the world, help people through my art, gain an awareness. Also a paycheck would be nice.
I need a more constant creative outlet. I don't want to be just a high school art teacher, and I wont, I'll be much more. God willing.
Introspectively yours,
Jason
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
It's in the water...
People are getting engaged like I get bit by mosquitoes. It's been happening left and right it seems. Just tonight I see two friends from college got engaged, and it was even on the news. I'm happy for them. I go to wish someone a happy birthday on facebook later on this evening, and sure enough, she too..engaged within the past week. Just like one of my best friends Justin. This past week, him and his lovely fiancé Angie took a limo ride around Lexington, ate dinner, and at some point he dropped the words "will you marry me" and of course she picked those words right up and put them on her finger. I admire his style by the way. He asked her father. Something I want to do as well, and will do.
Now I'm sure this probably already sounds a bit bitter of me. Me, a single 25 year old man with one year left in college. One has to think "what about me, when is my turn?" Perhaps there is some animosity in my attitude, but hopefully not much. I'm thrilled to death for all of my friends, and the new chapter in their life God is starting. I pray for them, and wish them the best on this new grand adventure they are going to undertake together, and hopefully till death do them part, and not anytime soon at that.
I believe the count I've started for friends and relatives who are about to tie the proverbial knot, who already have said their "I do's", or just got down on bended knee is up to 13 (couples) now just for this year and in the past few months just for clarification; and to show the magnitude of this situation I'm observing. It's getting out of control, and I want to hop on this bandwagon too, license in hand ready carry her through the threshold! Somebody slap me, quick.
Now please realize I'm not that eager to go running down the isle with the next woman I meet. I've got standards and principles. "A man's gotta have his principles." Talking over coffee with a good friend of mine the other day John Follman, this subject came up. He is a Christian, has a beautiful wife who is a woman of God, and four darling children. He said "she was married to Jesus before I married her," and that's what it all goes back to. I want that. And with God fully at the center of it all.
I read a book online recently, "A Guys Guide To Marrying Well". Good stuff, and Biblically sound. Intentionality is only one thing out of many it spoke of. It's up to the man to make the first move and initiate his intentions. How else is he going to be the spiritual head of the household if he can't even lead into a conversation where his feelings and intentions are expressed. A man must also guard his heart, as well as the heart of the woman involved. I'd like to think the Lord has instilled a much stronger confidence in me about all of this through this book, and from his Holy word. God probably wont grant me a burning bush and a flashing sign saying "this is her, ask her out", there is no faith in that. Paul says "we walk by faith, not by site."
This book shares a story, of which I'll paraphrase, about a man and his 88 year old grandfather who is a retired pastor. On the subject of women the grandfather points to a passage in the Bible. Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." The old gentleman points and says "Finds. It's a verb." Of course we don't want to put the cart before the horse, in this case running ahead of the Holy Spirits leading. "Only after prayer and careful consideration should we proceed." But we cannot sit around and wait for God to drop her into our lap.
The strangest thing has started to happen to me recently, I find myself wanting to play with the "youngins" of friends I have at church. Not that I was afraid of small children before and ran from them out of fear of not knowing how to interact, I would just like to attribute it the lack of resources to. I was an only child, though this has gifted me with an immense imagination. Okay, and maybe a little fear too. Last year a friend of mine told me she and some other female friends on summer project thought I'd make a wonderful father. I've heard this a few times recently as well, along with making a wonderful husband. As of right now, I feel like these are probably some of the most encouraging and delightful compliments I can receive. Of course when I do finally have the chance to put a ring on my best friends finger, and we say our "I do's" there will not be a rush to bring life into this world. We must spend time together, just us, getting to know each other more and on deeper levels of intimacy.
But when that time does come, I will certainly look forward to adventures in the back yard, rides on my shoulders of which they are the prince or princess of the world, first days of school, art projects, trick-or-treating, camping, fishing, lots of other things as well, and most importantly telling them about Jesus. I will be the earthly father for them I never had. I'd like to give a shout out to all the single mothers who have raised boys and girls to become men and women of God. Thanks mom, and I love you dearly. Thank you for loving me how you do, making the sacrifices you made, and sharing the love of Christ with me.
To wrap up this water glass of thoughts the realization of what a husband does, his role as the spiritual head of the household, has become more apparent to me as I read, observe, listen, think, and pray. The song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real comes to mind, I've been hearing it a lot lately on Air1. The positive alternative. The last half of this song has become a prayer of mine. I'll share it with you.
"So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone."
-Jason
Now I'm sure this probably already sounds a bit bitter of me. Me, a single 25 year old man with one year left in college. One has to think "what about me, when is my turn?" Perhaps there is some animosity in my attitude, but hopefully not much. I'm thrilled to death for all of my friends, and the new chapter in their life God is starting. I pray for them, and wish them the best on this new grand adventure they are going to undertake together, and hopefully till death do them part, and not anytime soon at that.
I believe the count I've started for friends and relatives who are about to tie the proverbial knot, who already have said their "I do's", or just got down on bended knee is up to 13 (couples) now just for this year and in the past few months just for clarification; and to show the magnitude of this situation I'm observing. It's getting out of control, and I want to hop on this bandwagon too, license in hand ready carry her through the threshold! Somebody slap me, quick.
Now please realize I'm not that eager to go running down the isle with the next woman I meet. I've got standards and principles. "A man's gotta have his principles." Talking over coffee with a good friend of mine the other day John Follman, this subject came up. He is a Christian, has a beautiful wife who is a woman of God, and four darling children. He said "she was married to Jesus before I married her," and that's what it all goes back to. I want that. And with God fully at the center of it all.
I read a book online recently, "A Guys Guide To Marrying Well". Good stuff, and Biblically sound. Intentionality is only one thing out of many it spoke of. It's up to the man to make the first move and initiate his intentions. How else is he going to be the spiritual head of the household if he can't even lead into a conversation where his feelings and intentions are expressed. A man must also guard his heart, as well as the heart of the woman involved. I'd like to think the Lord has instilled a much stronger confidence in me about all of this through this book, and from his Holy word. God probably wont grant me a burning bush and a flashing sign saying "this is her, ask her out", there is no faith in that. Paul says "we walk by faith, not by site."
This book shares a story, of which I'll paraphrase, about a man and his 88 year old grandfather who is a retired pastor. On the subject of women the grandfather points to a passage in the Bible. Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." The old gentleman points and says "Finds. It's a verb." Of course we don't want to put the cart before the horse, in this case running ahead of the Holy Spirits leading. "Only after prayer and careful consideration should we proceed." But we cannot sit around and wait for God to drop her into our lap.
The strangest thing has started to happen to me recently, I find myself wanting to play with the "youngins" of friends I have at church. Not that I was afraid of small children before and ran from them out of fear of not knowing how to interact, I would just like to attribute it the lack of resources to. I was an only child, though this has gifted me with an immense imagination. Okay, and maybe a little fear too. Last year a friend of mine told me she and some other female friends on summer project thought I'd make a wonderful father. I've heard this a few times recently as well, along with making a wonderful husband. As of right now, I feel like these are probably some of the most encouraging and delightful compliments I can receive. Of course when I do finally have the chance to put a ring on my best friends finger, and we say our "I do's" there will not be a rush to bring life into this world. We must spend time together, just us, getting to know each other more and on deeper levels of intimacy.
But when that time does come, I will certainly look forward to adventures in the back yard, rides on my shoulders of which they are the prince or princess of the world, first days of school, art projects, trick-or-treating, camping, fishing, lots of other things as well, and most importantly telling them about Jesus. I will be the earthly father for them I never had. I'd like to give a shout out to all the single mothers who have raised boys and girls to become men and women of God. Thanks mom, and I love you dearly. Thank you for loving me how you do, making the sacrifices you made, and sharing the love of Christ with me.
To wrap up this water glass of thoughts the realization of what a husband does, his role as the spiritual head of the household, has become more apparent to me as I read, observe, listen, think, and pray. The song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real comes to mind, I've been hearing it a lot lately on Air1. The positive alternative. The last half of this song has become a prayer of mine. I'll share it with you.
"So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone."
-Jason
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I've been saving thoughts, now it's time to deposit them.
So I sit here on my bed laptop at my finger tips wanting to spill my guts, but hold some back due to the fact that it would be too incoherent aside from jumping topics like skipping rocks. But here's to rocks on water. This week I've grown closer to my friends at church. We've grown closer as a whole. We're a small group and I like that. It seems the college kids now outnumber the youth, but there are really no more than 8 of us aside from the soon to leave youth pastor's three kids. The inner desire to serve the Lord more has come upon on me. Slowly I see how I can with what skills I have right now, though some is speculation for now.
Rewinding to "a day without shoes" on campus I walked barefoot like others in support of Toms shoes or the shoeless around the world. Talk about walking a mile in another mans shoes, or in this case the lack there of, I did. For the first time I saw with my feet. I became aware aside from my previously weak sympathy for children without shoes. The rocks, glass I tried to avoid, puddles, and mud that my feet met first foot. I felt just a glimpse of pain many do day after day going barefoot. I want to make a change for people somehow, either through bringing them shoes or showing them how to make something to protect their feet along with sharing the Gospel.
Air 1 recently had a Blood Water Mission thing of which the band Jars of Clay started a mission to drill 1000 wells in countries where people need fresh water so they don't have to be subject to disease and forgo school toting water that's still unclean. I've realized when the city messes up the water system here and it occasionally tastes like dirt I hate it. I can't stand it. Though other people walk miles upon miles just for a few gallons that you can't even see through. I see where I've been selfish and how well off I am just to be in the US. But my recognition is not enough, I need to do something more. I want to help people somehow. Not just to give them shoes and clean water, but to give them something so that they wont thirst any longer. That's the love of Jesus Christ and His powerful message. I want to serve the Lord the best I can, and I find myself at a stand still as far as these ideas go. I guess I'm to slowly build up to such the level. I'm sure there are other tasks I'm to complete or trials to go through before I come to complete fruition for the time being, but I want the next step.
Back to the youth and our mission stuff we've started this week, I got to play guitar for them. The only song I know. God of Wonders. Even then it was a bit broken, but as I sat there and played, listening to them singing praise I wondered if I were to ever become a youth pastor. Fellow teacher friend mentioned it to me a while back asking if I ever thought about it. I don't think I'm supposed to, I mean it's probably a fleeting thought, but if God wants me to do such I will. But just playing that one song as best I could makes me want to learn oh so much more so I can honor God through the strums of my guitar. Regardless if I ever become apart of some praise band and headline for Switchfoot, this idea and once goal of mine became so much more real for the first time.
I feel as if my posts are muddled and jump subjects a lot, that for some reason I should be more focused on what I write, but it's good to get it all, well that stuff at least off my chest and into virtual la la land.
Thanks God for being so holy and loving me like you do.
Rewinding to "a day without shoes" on campus I walked barefoot like others in support of Toms shoes or the shoeless around the world. Talk about walking a mile in another mans shoes, or in this case the lack there of, I did. For the first time I saw with my feet. I became aware aside from my previously weak sympathy for children without shoes. The rocks, glass I tried to avoid, puddles, and mud that my feet met first foot. I felt just a glimpse of pain many do day after day going barefoot. I want to make a change for people somehow, either through bringing them shoes or showing them how to make something to protect their feet along with sharing the Gospel.
Air 1 recently had a Blood Water Mission thing of which the band Jars of Clay started a mission to drill 1000 wells in countries where people need fresh water so they don't have to be subject to disease and forgo school toting water that's still unclean. I've realized when the city messes up the water system here and it occasionally tastes like dirt I hate it. I can't stand it. Though other people walk miles upon miles just for a few gallons that you can't even see through. I see where I've been selfish and how well off I am just to be in the US. But my recognition is not enough, I need to do something more. I want to help people somehow. Not just to give them shoes and clean water, but to give them something so that they wont thirst any longer. That's the love of Jesus Christ and His powerful message. I want to serve the Lord the best I can, and I find myself at a stand still as far as these ideas go. I guess I'm to slowly build up to such the level. I'm sure there are other tasks I'm to complete or trials to go through before I come to complete fruition for the time being, but I want the next step.
Back to the youth and our mission stuff we've started this week, I got to play guitar for them. The only song I know. God of Wonders. Even then it was a bit broken, but as I sat there and played, listening to them singing praise I wondered if I were to ever become a youth pastor. Fellow teacher friend mentioned it to me a while back asking if I ever thought about it. I don't think I'm supposed to, I mean it's probably a fleeting thought, but if God wants me to do such I will. But just playing that one song as best I could makes me want to learn oh so much more so I can honor God through the strums of my guitar. Regardless if I ever become apart of some praise band and headline for Switchfoot, this idea and once goal of mine became so much more real for the first time.
I feel as if my posts are muddled and jump subjects a lot, that for some reason I should be more focused on what I write, but it's good to get it all, well that stuff at least off my chest and into virtual la la land.
Thanks God for being so holy and loving me like you do.
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